Pros and cons

It's exactly a month before I leave Austin and I am feeling panicky. Don't get me wrong, I am so excited to begin this adventure but the feeling is bittersweet. I believe it is normal to second guess ones decision to leave a perfectly normal and unbroken life behind simply to make a change. Am I crazy?! My life here is great and in twenty years I am going to look back on this time in my life and be envious of the freedom I had. No kids, no marriage, and no house. I am completely free to do whatever I want and be whatever I want. I find it all a bit challenging and overwhelming. Doesn't that just seem….well, stupid. To have all this and want more? The reasons why I am leaving have yet to occur to me. It probably has something to do with my inexplicable desire to have the kids, the marriage, and the house. That I need to be crazy and adventurous before I earned the right to raise another human being, or have the wisdom to do it right. Whatever my reasoning is I am sure it will reveal itself along the way. I can't help thinking about the contrasting difference between here and New Hampshire. My good friend Liana always makes a pros and cons list to help her through tough decisions. I usually gave her grief for it but I think that it actually might help in this case, so here it goes.

Austin Pros;

Food (don't laugh that this is my first pro, it's yours too) 

See, it's important.

Chicken and Waffles courtesy of 24 Hour Diner

Character- Of city itself I mean.  

People- interesting and adventurous friends, yes please

Music-no explanation here.

New Hampshire pros

Nature- easy one.

Family- who can argue with that.

A place to settle- well lets not be too over eager about that one, eventually I'll settle. 

Austin cons:

Distance from family

The HEAT- does it ever get easier

No midwifery career here- okay that one could change someday! 

New Hampshire Cons;

It's cold, a LOT.

No nightlife, goodbye social life

Living with my parents; not entirely a con but not something you want to tell a potential suitor (yes I said suitor) 

It's a good list. You know, after looking at it I still think I am making the right decision. My leaving reminds me of a song by Patty Griffin that I'll leave you with, "you must always know how long to stay, and when to go…". 

Favorite spot on the farm:)